What do I want?

What do I want?? Well, that is the question, isn't it? My goals and plans have changed drastically over the last 10 years... for example.

When I was 10, I wanted

1. To get married
2. To live in Idaho right next to my mom and dad
3. To raise and sell thousands of lab puppies as my source of income
4. To have lots of friends
5. To maybe be famous... for my record amount of puppies or for my singing, I don't know.

When I was 15, I wanted

1. Tyler Gibson to like me
2. To have more friends
3. To have a nice body
4. To get good grades
5. To become a nurse

When I entered into college, I wanted

1. A boyfriend/spouse
2. Friends
3. To get good grades
4. Still wanted to be a nurse
5. To still live in Idaho when I was done with school

NOW the things I want are...

1. To have someone who loves me for me.
2. To be a better person.
3. To graduate in psychology to become a therapist
4. To have fun while keeping up the grades
5. To love my family no matter what

Looking at these lists, it's clear to see that I have grown up a little in my life. My life career plan is constantly changing, but for some reason psychology has stuck and so... I'm putting my all into it. Relationships have come and gone... I've tampered with many a douche bag and have had my heart broken. I've realized what I want and what I don't want. I understand how utterly important my family is to me as I watch outside forces try to shatter it. I finally get that this life is for living, and I shouldn't take for granted a single day of it.

I love my life. I really and honestly love every day. I might live in an apartment that currently smells like rotten fruit, or have hives all over my legs, or have such chapped lips that every time I smile they start to bleed. But I honestly wouldn't change a single part of my life.

Thanks for everyone who influences me in some way. You are everything to me, and I love you so much. Keep being awesome, people. :)

So here I am, sitting in the library on a Friday night. My life has officially gone downhill. I used to feel so apart of things, always going out, having so much fun.... now my life basically revolves around school and work.

My love life is non-existent.

Also, I discovered a fifth cousin of mine. His name is Cody, and we have the same Great-Great-Great-great... great grandpa. Great.

This is what he looks like.















Whichever you prefer. Anyways, he is pretty legit, besides the fact that I failed to draw him with ears. But ya he is pretty legit, being my 5th cousin and all.

Anyways, that's my life right now. I feel like I have lost contact with my Idaho friends, that I am failing to make new friends, and somewhat neglecting the friends that I have here in Utah.

I love you all. Thanks for reading my blog.

Go go go Martin!

Wow, I must say that this last week or so has probably one of the most memorable of my life. So many good, scary, and bad things have happened. Hmm... what would be the easiest way of going about this? I think I will just have to list them.

1. Bloody noses -- ya, if you aren't a big fan of TMI posts, I would probably just decide to quit reading here. But let me tell you.... I have had the worst bloody noses of my life in the past week. It was g-ross. I was just pleasantly washing my face on a Thursday evening, planning on putting a mud mask on my face, when all of the sudden my nose decided to freaking burst... blood got everywhere. It was on the walls and on the ground and in my hair... and it lasted for about an hour and a half. And then I proceeded to get another one on Friday night. Thankfully Lucas brought me some Vitamin C (because apparently if you don't have enough of it, you can get bloody noses) and I haven't had a bloody nose since. Woo.

2. My boyfriend and I decided to take a break in our relationship, so this last week has consisted of my trying to straighten out my thoughts and what I want and what I don't want... my mind is a complete mess, dear readers (which I am sure you are aware of by the absolute lack of structure in my blogs, but oh well) and so now I'm just... floating? I don't know how to describe it. But though crazy things have happened this week, I almost feel detached from it all. I haven't been here at all this week, but I slowly feel myself drifting back into me... wow, that sounds absolutely ridiculous, but I am too lazy to edit this post, so just deal with it.

3. A family friend died, and I had to drive down to Idaho and sing, and then drive back the next day. Thankfully, I had my bff come with me, my dearest Kate, which made the whole trip much more bearable. Except for the fact that I come back to Provo only to realize that I left my wallet in my mom's car. That was a joyous occasion. haha

4. Went to a dessert party last night, because forever ago I gave my number to a guy in a shady mexican restaurant, and he invited me to it. I literally knew no one going in, but ran into a bunch of people that I knew. Also, the guys there were pretty cool... though I did get pressured into kissing a guy on the cheek, but hey, it was his birthday.

Ok, so this last week really hasn't been that crazy after all, but it has to me. I thought that I owed myself a blog, since I haven't written in, practically, forever. So there it is.

I'm not super happy, but at least I'm not super sad either. Like I said, I'm floating about, doing the things that I need to do, waiting for the moment when I snap out of this stupor and return back to my happy bubbly self. It should be soon, don't you worry.

This semester is going to be really difficult, I can already feel it. But I want to get straight A's!!!! Woo. It's going to happen, just you wait and see.

I love you all so much. Thanks for everything that you have done in my life.

Remember who you are.

ps. This very well may be my worst-written blog post, but work with it, K? I'll try to provide something with substance in a week or so. Because I love you...

That is all. :)

I'm on a roll, I guess

So now that I know two people might actually be reading my blog, I suddenly got redetermined to write in this thing once again. So here I am, scrambling for things to talk about... so I decided that my next few blogs were going to be specifically dedicated to all things BYU...

So as I was walking to school today, I noticed that there were some ridiculously good looking boys who go to this school. Like... ridiculous. Like when people were being created on the conveyer belt up in heaven, and God is dishing out the good and the bad to all the people, God just says, "Eff it!" and gives them all the good. Me, on the other hand, decided to have a little fun and give me the case of no-butt and sticky-outy-ears. But that's another story.

But these guys look fine. They glow. They are gods. But the most unfortunate thing about BYU is... that guys fall into about 4 categories... they can be extremely hot, but their personalities are almost always going to fall within the following categories.... let me elaborate.

FIRST: We have the socially-awkward-wants-to-be-cool-but-just-can't-Mormon.

Now, don't get me wrong, some girls just simply swoon over boys like this, who, when encountering a normally average girl can't find anything to say other than, "oh...... hi..........um...... shoelace?" Some girls find that endearing. I, on the other hand, feel so awkward that I want to swallow a fork in order to find a way out of enduring that conversation.

Also, I think that you can find a great sense of character by how a person dances. And these boys.... they just can't dance. If they even go to a dance. Which they probably don't. Actually, scratch that, they absolutely do not have a desire to attend dances. But let's say, for arguments sake that they do attend a dance because their mother's lives are stake, then you would likely find them huddling in a corner at the back wall, looking terrified as they stare at all the girls getting low on the dance floor.

This just won't do.


SECOND: We have the want-so-bad-to-be-cool-but-just-can't-quite-make-it

Now, when you first meet these guys, you think to yourself at first, "hey... this guy could be cool. I like him!" But then after a few visits with this particular male, you notice that there is something just not quite right.... maybe its the way that he laughs, with his mouth wide open with a bit of saliva on his chin.... or maybe it's the faint lisp that you suspect that you hear when he speaks. But after about a good 8 visits, you realize that this guy, is in fact, not cool. He is a nerd, wearing cool kid clothes and speaking in almost perfect cool guy dialogue.

Bring this guy to a dance, and you will be mortified. One second he will be attempting to do a worm on the dance floor, the next second he will be grinding up on girls... then he will be doing jumping jacks on the middle of the floor in a way that you have never imagined. He will attempt to drop it, only to fall over.... and then to try to do the worm again. You find yourself dancing with strangers and avoiding this boy at all costs.

This also will not do.

(sorry if you can't read the words... perhaps it's better if you can't)

And the final two categories of males at BYU will have to be postponed until a later date, because I have class in two minutes and I know that there is no way that I will make it there on time if I finish this blog... even though I don't want to make it there. Because its my last effin class of the school year, succa!!! And I want to skip.





. . . Ugh. I'm going to class.

Two new followers!?!

I officially have two new followers... and this pleases me to an extreme degree. So I decided to dedicate this blog to them. They are living in my apartment complex, and they told me this Sunday that they secretly follow my blog. So we got talking, and I promised them that I would write them a blog with some things that I love on it. So here it is, you two girls!

First, the best blog ever. She inspired me to write a blog!

www.hyperboleandahalf.blogspot.com

(Read this. Let it change your life. :D)

Next: watch these two videos. Some say that this is entirely too morbid, but I find llama's who wear hats and also have murdering tendencies extremely hilarious.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kZUPCB9533Y

and

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZpjyH-LkEAg

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH. YES. I am so very pleased with 12 followers... I only need 13, and my life will be complete.















Here is me and my two new followers, dominatin' the blogging world. WABAAM!

So it's one...

Yup, its one in the morning, and I know that I should be in bed because oh too soon I will have to wake up and go to church... but I always find myself writing my blogs when I have something else that I should be doing.

Or maybe its the fact that I took a 4 hour nap starting at 5 pm till 9. That also can contribute to my insomnia.

ANYWAYS, I just wanted to relay a story that happened to me recently. Ok, so I have a tendency to always get caught in my underwear by guys that I don't want to see me in my underwear... for example, this summer I was caught 3 times by a guy that I didn't particularly like. So I swore to myself that I had learned my lesson, and that I would forever be clothed!!

Well, I just like walking around in my underwear entirely too much. But you see, normally at BYU, this wouldn't be a problem, because guys aren't allowed in girls bathrooms/bedrooms, so when would they ever see you so scantily clad?

Well, this year, I am living in a wacked up apartment. When normally bedrooms and bathrooms are nicely tucked away from the living room and kitchen, my tiny tiny bedroom is directly connected with the kitchen. So what this means is any time I need to walk to the bathroom, I must first pass through the kitchen.

It looks like this.

I can imagine you can see where this is going.

Well, it was a blissful Sunday morning, and I was about ready to hop into my shower... but I had yet to decide what I was going to wear, so I just grabbed some clean underwear and headed for the bathroom. After my 20 minute shower, I then donned my underwear and walked over to brush my teeth. The doorway to the kitchen was open, and through it I noticed that the kitchen window was open. I guess this is when I should have decided that clothes were the safest option, ... but instead I just continued my teeth brushing.

So here I am, happily prancing about in my apartment in my little white underwear (I always wear white underwear on Sundays, and no other day... I don't really understand why, but mainly I think it is because I feel more holy wearing it...). I then go and start to blow dry my hair... this takes about 15 minutes, and I blow dry my hair entirely upside down, so when I finish, I look like this:

Sexy hair, I know. So at this moment when I slowly whip up my hair, I happen to look out through my kitchen and through my kitchen window. And there he was.... about to walk into his apartment and staring in my direction.

So here I am, in my holy white underwear with my hair frizzed out to the max degree, locking eyes with some guy.

I looked like this:

After about 2 seconds of this horrifying stare-down, I slammed the hall door closed... I fell onto the floor, and hyperventilated a little bit.... I then proceeded to open the door very slowly, and army crawl my way back into my bedroom.

I would like to say that I no longer wear underwear around the apartment... but alas, I do. HOWEVER, I did learn one thing from this whole ordeal... which is to keep my effin windows closed.

Thanks for reading. :) This blog had actual pictures! HOORRAAAYY!

ps. I am almost positive that this blog has a million errors but I suddenly got tired and I want to go to bed while the sleepiness is there. So if you see some gramatical mistake, just leave it and move on.

I love you all! Here is a heart for the road.

........... I want a tattoo of this on my butt.

Word Vomit

Time for a word vomit blog. I don't know what I want to blog about, so this is probably just going to be a random collection of my thoughts. I just tried studying for my stats test for the last few hours, which ending up in resulting in me laying on my bed with my stats book open on my face. My thoughts were just racing entirely too fast, and once my brain reaches that speed, basically nothing can slow it down.

So I end up just letting my mind take over for a little while.... but then things get scary because suddenly all I can think about is what it would be like to be a prostitute.. and then I wonder if I would even be a good prostitute, and how much money I could make in one night. Or what it would be like to swim in green jello... or if I would like to be a snake or a rabbit more.

So then I was like "Kara, if you could harness this insane thinking right now and try very hard to type as fast as you are thinking, you could very well have a blog." And that is what motivated me to get off of my bed to come here. :)

Let's see. I generally have a rule that I don't talk about current romance on my blog. I don't know why, but I feel like my love life is entirely too personal to blog about. I am more than willing to write about previous loves on my blog... but I can't just start talking about the person that I am seeing on here. Maybe its because I am secretly afraid that my guy might be reading my blog, and then they will get offended that I am talking about our love life on my blog.

But I feel like I need to briefly BRIEFLY mention this guy that I that I am seeing, because he is in my life a lot as of late. So here I go... I am seeing a guy named Roberto. (I am sad to admit that I am using a false name here.. but at least for now I am going to keep his identity a secret.) So I have known Roberto for a while now, because he used to live in my old apartment complex. And we went on our first date in the beginning of October... so ya. :) Roberto is great.

Anyways, I'm going to go watch some anime at Robertos now. Enjoy this word vomit.