Thursday, December 9, 2010

I'm on a roll, I guess

So now that I know two people might actually be reading my blog, I suddenly got redetermined to write in this thing once again. So here I am, scrambling for things to talk about... so I decided that my next few blogs were going to be specifically dedicated to all things BYU...

So as I was walking to school today, I noticed that there were some ridiculously good looking boys who go to this school. Like... ridiculous. Like when people were being created on the conveyer belt up in heaven, and God is dishing out the good and the bad to all the people, God just says, "Eff it!" and gives them all the good. Me, on the other hand, decided to have a little fun and give me the case of no-butt and sticky-outy-ears. But that's another story.

But these guys look fine. They glow. They are gods. But the most unfortunate thing about BYU is... that guys fall into about 4 categories... they can be extremely hot, but their personalities are almost always going to fall within the following categories.... let me elaborate.

FIRST: We have the socially-awkward-wants-to-be-cool-but-just-can't-Mormon.

Now, don't get me wrong, some girls just simply swoon over boys like this, who, when encountering a normally average girl can't find anything to say other than, "oh...... shoelace?" Some girls find that endearing. I, on the other hand, feel so awkward that I want to swallow a fork in order to find a way out of enduring that conversation.

Also, I think that you can find a great sense of character by how a person dances. And these boys.... they just can't dance. If they even go to a dance. Which they probably don't. Actually, scratch that, they absolutely do not have a desire to attend dances. But let's say, for arguments sake that they do attend a dance because their mother's lives are stake, then you would likely find them huddling in a corner at the back wall, looking terrified as they stare at all the girls getting low on the dance floor.

This just won't do.

SECOND: We have the want-so-bad-to-be-cool-but-just-can't-quite-make-it

Now, when you first meet these guys, you think to yourself at first, "hey... this guy could be cool. I like him!" But then after a few visits with this particular male, you notice that there is something just not quite right.... maybe its the way that he laughs, with his mouth wide open with a bit of saliva on his chin.... or maybe it's the faint lisp that you suspect that you hear when he speaks. But after about a good 8 visits, you realize that this guy, is in fact, not cool. He is a nerd, wearing cool kid clothes and speaking in almost perfect cool guy dialogue.

Bring this guy to a dance, and you will be mortified. One second he will be attempting to do a worm on the dance floor, the next second he will be grinding up on girls... then he will be doing jumping jacks on the middle of the floor in a way that you have never imagined. He will attempt to drop it, only to fall over.... and then to try to do the worm again. You find yourself dancing with strangers and avoiding this boy at all costs.

This also will not do.

(sorry if you can't read the words... perhaps it's better if you can't)

And the final two categories of males at BYU will have to be postponed until a later date, because I have class in two minutes and I know that there is no way that I will make it there on time if I finish this blog... even though I don't want to make it there. Because its my last effin class of the school year, succa!!! And I want to skip.

. . . Ugh. I'm going to class.

Wednesday, December 8, 2010

Two new followers!?!

I officially have two new followers... and this pleases me to an extreme degree. So I decided to dedicate this blog to them. They are living in my apartment complex, and they told me this Sunday that they secretly follow my blog. So we got talking, and I promised them that I would write them a blog with some things that I love on it. So here it is, you two girls!

First, the best blog ever. She inspired me to write a blog!

(Read this. Let it change your life. :D)

Next: watch these two videos. Some say that this is entirely too morbid, but I find llama's who wear hats and also have murdering tendencies extremely hilarious.


AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH. YES. I am so very pleased with 12 followers... I only need 13, and my life will be complete.

Here is me and my two new followers, dominatin' the blogging world. WABAAM!

Sunday, December 5, 2010

So it's one...

Yup, its one in the morning, and I know that I should be in bed because oh too soon I will have to wake up and go to church... but I always find myself writing my blogs when I have something else that I should be doing.

Or maybe its the fact that I took a 4 hour nap starting at 5 pm till 9. That also can contribute to my insomnia.

ANYWAYS, I just wanted to relay a story that happened to me recently. Ok, so I have a tendency to always get caught in my underwear by guys that I don't want to see me in my underwear... for example, this summer I was caught 3 times by a guy that I didn't particularly like. So I swore to myself that I had learned my lesson, and that I would forever be clothed!!

Well, I just like walking around in my underwear entirely too much. But you see, normally at BYU, this wouldn't be a problem, because guys aren't allowed in girls bathrooms/bedrooms, so when would they ever see you so scantily clad?

Well, this year, I am living in a wacked up apartment. When normally bedrooms and bathrooms are nicely tucked away from the living room and kitchen, my tiny tiny bedroom is directly connected with the kitchen. So what this means is any time I need to walk to the bathroom, I must first pass through the kitchen.

It looks like this.

I can imagine you can see where this is going.

Well, it was a blissful Sunday morning, and I was about ready to hop into my shower... but I had yet to decide what I was going to wear, so I just grabbed some clean underwear and headed for the bathroom. After my 20 minute shower, I then donned my underwear and walked over to brush my teeth. The doorway to the kitchen was open, and through it I noticed that the kitchen window was open. I guess this is when I should have decided that clothes were the safest option, ... but instead I just continued my teeth brushing.

So here I am, happily prancing about in my apartment in my little white underwear (I always wear white underwear on Sundays, and no other day... I don't really understand why, but mainly I think it is because I feel more holy wearing it...). I then go and start to blow dry my hair... this takes about 15 minutes, and I blow dry my hair entirely upside down, so when I finish, I look like this:

Sexy hair, I know. So at this moment when I slowly whip up my hair, I happen to look out through my kitchen and through my kitchen window. And there he was.... about to walk into his apartment and staring in my direction.

So here I am, in my holy white underwear with my hair frizzed out to the max degree, locking eyes with some guy.

I looked like this:

After about 2 seconds of this horrifying stare-down, I slammed the hall door closed... I fell onto the floor, and hyperventilated a little bit.... I then proceeded to open the door very slowly, and army crawl my way back into my bedroom.

I would like to say that I no longer wear underwear around the apartment... but alas, I do. HOWEVER, I did learn one thing from this whole ordeal... which is to keep my effin windows closed.

Thanks for reading. :) This blog had actual pictures! HOORRAAAYY!

ps. I am almost positive that this blog has a million errors but I suddenly got tired and I want to go to bed while the sleepiness is there. So if you see some gramatical mistake, just leave it and move on.

I love you all! Here is a heart for the road.

........... I want a tattoo of this on my butt.