Thursday, December 9, 2010

I'm on a roll, I guess

So now that I know two people might actually be reading my blog, I suddenly got redetermined to write in this thing once again. So here I am, scrambling for things to talk about... so I decided that my next few blogs were going to be specifically dedicated to all things BYU...

So as I was walking to school today, I noticed that there were some ridiculously good looking boys who go to this school. Like... ridiculous. Like when people were being created on the conveyer belt up in heaven, and God is dishing out the good and the bad to all the people, God just says, "Eff it!" and gives them all the good. Me, on the other hand, decided to have a little fun and give me the case of no-butt and sticky-outy-ears. But that's another story.

But these guys look fine. They glow. They are gods. But the most unfortunate thing about BYU is... that guys fall into about 4 categories... they can be extremely hot, but their personalities are almost always going to fall within the following categories.... let me elaborate.

FIRST: We have the socially-awkward-wants-to-be-cool-but-just-can't-Mormon.

Now, don't get me wrong, some girls just simply swoon over boys like this, who, when encountering a normally average girl can't find anything to say other than, "oh...... shoelace?" Some girls find that endearing. I, on the other hand, feel so awkward that I want to swallow a fork in order to find a way out of enduring that conversation.

Also, I think that you can find a great sense of character by how a person dances. And these boys.... they just can't dance. If they even go to a dance. Which they probably don't. Actually, scratch that, they absolutely do not have a desire to attend dances. But let's say, for arguments sake that they do attend a dance because their mother's lives are stake, then you would likely find them huddling in a corner at the back wall, looking terrified as they stare at all the girls getting low on the dance floor.

This just won't do.

SECOND: We have the want-so-bad-to-be-cool-but-just-can't-quite-make-it

Now, when you first meet these guys, you think to yourself at first, "hey... this guy could be cool. I like him!" But then after a few visits with this particular male, you notice that there is something just not quite right.... maybe its the way that he laughs, with his mouth wide open with a bit of saliva on his chin.... or maybe it's the faint lisp that you suspect that you hear when he speaks. But after about a good 8 visits, you realize that this guy, is in fact, not cool. He is a nerd, wearing cool kid clothes and speaking in almost perfect cool guy dialogue.

Bring this guy to a dance, and you will be mortified. One second he will be attempting to do a worm on the dance floor, the next second he will be grinding up on girls... then he will be doing jumping jacks on the middle of the floor in a way that you have never imagined. He will attempt to drop it, only to fall over.... and then to try to do the worm again. You find yourself dancing with strangers and avoiding this boy at all costs.

This also will not do.

(sorry if you can't read the words... perhaps it's better if you can't)

And the final two categories of males at BYU will have to be postponed until a later date, because I have class in two minutes and I know that there is no way that I will make it there on time if I finish this blog... even though I don't want to make it there. Because its my last effin class of the school year, succa!!! And I want to skip.

. . . Ugh. I'm going to class.

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