Wednesday, June 23, 2010

Short shorts

So my friend Anna and I decided that we were going to leave Aspen Grove to go down to Provo for a few hours. We planned it out strategically so that we could leave right after I was done working lunch and be back by dinner...

I think that I got overly excited for this trip. I thought about it all day as I was wiping tables and mopping... and then I realized that I could wear something besides my traditional Aspen Grove T-shirt and pants... So I started of thinking of things that I could wear that I wouldn't even be ALLOWED to wear here, like a halter-top dress or even... a tank top. How scandalous.

I ended up wearing a modest t-shirt, but I put on super short shorts. I was really excited to show of my tanned legs (thanks to many hours spent by the pool) but I didn't want anyone at camp to see my legs and think me a skank... so I call up Anna and tell her to meet me by her car so I didn't have to walk into the staff cabin and have everyone judge me and think me a slut.

I even walked the back way up to the staff cabin, because I had walked that trail many times and never encountered another human being on it.

But of course, today would be the day that I would.

Before I launch into my story, I just want to say that I have never seen anyone in the staff or even the campers that were wearing shorts as short as mine. I felt so scandalous... I really really really wanted to get to Provo where my shorts would be more inconspicuous.

Anyways, I run into a really nice staff-guy on the trail. He looked at me, then at my legs, and then back at me, with a look in his eyes that said "................ HARLOT."

I sighed, and walked past him. I was upset that today was the day I ran into someone whilst wearing my stumpety shorts...

and then I ran into my manager.

Correction: I saw my manager, freaked out, put on my sunglasses, and darted behind a rock. He had his head slightly down, so I started darting in between trees while frantically pulling down on my shorts in hopes that they would suddenly cover my knees.

They maybe got pulled down another inch... I panicked, but soon my manager was past me and the danger was averted.

Or so I thought. :O

I get in the car with Anna, and thankfully she doesn't judge my trampy legs. She then informed me that we were going to go to the pharmacy, and then the store, and maybe the BYU campus.

.............. the BYU campus.

Holy crap.

Why, oh why, did I decide to wear these shorts? "Whatever" I thought to myself, "you just gotta rock the shorts and pretend like it doesn't bother you."

But it really really really bothered me... everyone on campus with their beautiful knee-length shorts looked at me with such disdain... they would look at me, look at my thighs, and then look back at me with their eyebrows raised and say "You slutty skanky strumpety slut."................ ok, they wouldn't say it out loud, but they thought it loud enough that I got the message.

( I apologize for the quality of this picture... I drew in in like two minutes flat... I don't have much time anymore. I also apologize that everyone besides myself are shirtless, bald, and have no feet.)

Sigh... I think that these shorts are forever going to hide in my closet untouched.

* So I just read over my blog, and I found I used all of these words: slut, slutty, skanky, harlot, strumpety, trampy. I didn't know that there were so many similes for the word "slut"

1 comment:

  1. oh yes you did. you've used all of these in your slut war with stuart. haha